Tag: love

My favourite kind of friends…

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I admit I am old school. I am a sucker when it comes to friends who makes an effort to keep in touch with me. I love people who actually check up on me. It warms me all the way to my butt 😀 ( I got big butts lol). I grew up in a small town (back then it was small) in Perak, namely Teluk Intan. Friends companionship are all we had during our childhood days. Plus some outdoor activities aka tree climbing, wading in flood waters (my town is prone to flooding due to the fact it is next to the famous Perak River and the dam is always overflowing) , or playing with the touch-me-not plant (I love this plant! :D) or even pretend play of cooking using leaves and stones or even catching small longkang fish (drain fish). I was pretty much a tomboy as a kid.

God, where was I again lol. Well, had a gathering with my childhood friends durin the Eid Mubarak holiday. It was really reminiscing about the school days and old times. Oh man, we practically know each other since we were 6 years old. How cool is that! These childhood friends – they know me because I am me. Nothing to do with whether if I am rich ( which I am not) and if I am pretty (definitely am not pretty as well).  I love it when someone wants to have you as a friend without any bad intentions.

So the lunch went well as we were catching up on what’s happening with each other since some of them, the last time we met was like 5 years ago. The topic is basically on living healthy and eating healthy which is col to me too. Because I am working very hard to lose weight by working out almost 7 days a week!

The irony thing is after the healthy lunch we ended up in calories-loaded tea break haha. But then the sugar boost does spike up our adrenaline and we all got so hyper and the chattering continues with plenty of laughter, so much so that even the waiters and waitresses there were laughing along with us. No thanks to me, because I was giving silly names to the desserts in fujian dialect, thus making the elegant dishes becomes very chinese. Well sorry buddy, that you gals have to put up with a crazy friend like me A thousand apologies!

And conclusion is, I really appreciate friends who try their hardest to keep in touch with me with daily texting or checking on me from time to time. I love you for making my life – being cared for, being loved and for thinking about me. I totally appreciate that very very very much.

 

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Struggling

As much as I look calm outside, I have been struggling lately, be it my private life or working life. I have difficult past relationship that I been working hard to move on (which I finally did) and right now at this moment I am trying to manage my new relationships.

However, it is not easy. Work wise, I have to learn the art of being a versatile conversationalist with a pinch of humor and intelligence needed in order to capture the attention of the clients.

Personal life wise, a lot do not actually understand me. If i am comfortable with the person, trust me, i have plenty to talk.  If i don’t, don’t expect much words from me or even a single word. People skill has always been an issue with me. I seriously hate being pushed away or the other party showed absolute no interest in keeping in contact with me nor trying to spend time with me. (been there, done that, for one damn year, I was being pushed away and ignored or he actually never sent me any fucking text to initiate conversation with me). And.. one day… the old and weary me, just gave up on the whole relationship because for one, i hate being push away and for two, i am so done whenever people show absolute no interest in being with me.

The one year of hell that i went through was a good training ground. i learn that i will only be with those who is eager to be with me. I will never ever beg for attention because i learn it the hard way, never chase love, affection or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having. And once i given up on the person or i am done, i am really done and have absolutely no interest to spend time nor even feel like talking to them anymore.

To me, grey area is a tough call, because i have always been either a white or black decision person. and yes, this is to simplified my life instead of arguing white or black. i hope to resolve this struggling moment soon..