Tag: interest

Belly dancing anyone?

I had my first belly dancing and it was quite interesting. Why? Because to me, it is a different kind of dance which has its own unique steps and posture. I have always been fascinated with dances since I was a kid. I come from a small town that it is pretty difficult to have any sort of ‘special’ activities to be able to survive.

I remember while I was 10 years old, I told my parents I wanted to learn ballet. It started that this one day I saw one of my schoolmate dancing so elegantly on her toe.. ballet! And she look so beautiful in her leotard and tutus.. with her slender long legs and arms and fingers and all that. I was actually very (yes i repeat.. extremely to be exact) mesmerized by that image of her till today. Her hair was neatly tied up in a bun and she looks stunning as she danced away gracefully in pink. And the bad news is the nearest ballet school is 2 hours drive away. 😦

So there goes my dream of learning ballet. And finally now being adult and the capacity to do whatever I want (I hope so!) I signed up for the free belly dancing in Oasis Square Ara Damansara and oh man, I am glad I did!

The dance instructor was really good in giving guidance and I look in awed as she dance away with her near perfect moves. How I wish I can dance the way she does! And as I look at myself in the mirror, I think I look like a penguin as I followed her dance steps (ughhhh!). She started with repetitive steps of moving to the left and right. And we gradually move into the next dance move of shoulder movement. From shoulder movement, it expanded to arms movement. The difficult part is the vigorous ‘shaking’ of the ass, thighs and boobs together. I would have swear I look like someone who is experiencing epilepsy seizures! >.<

I personally love the soft gestures of covering half the face with my palm indicating shyness (part of the belly dancing choreography story) and partially cupping my ass as I am moving my hips. I enjoyed the class very much so I signed up for the weekly classes. And now my lady boss wanted to join me in the class after she heard me describing the dance move. So yup, till the next lesson, I love to share my dance experience on my next class. I love to tone my body especially my shoulder and hip while enjoying the dance, life is good when you are able to do what you love, don’t you agree? ❤

 

Struggling

As much as I look calm outside, I have been struggling lately, be it my private life or working life. I have difficult past relationship that I been working hard to move on (which I finally did) and right now at this moment I am trying to manage my new relationships.

However, it is not easy. Work wise, I have to learn the art of being a versatile conversationalist with a pinch of humor and intelligence needed in order to capture the attention of the clients.

Personal life wise, a lot do not actually understand me. If i am comfortable with the person, trust me, i have plenty to talk.  If i don’t, don’t expect much words from me or even a single word. People skill has always been an issue with me. I seriously hate being pushed away or the other party showed absolute no interest in keeping in contact with me nor trying to spend time with me. (been there, done that, for one damn year, I was being pushed away and ignored or he actually never sent me any fucking text to initiate conversation with me). And.. one day… the old and weary me, just gave up on the whole relationship because for one, i hate being push away and for two, i am so done whenever people show absolute no interest in being with me.

The one year of hell that i went through was a good training ground. i learn that i will only be with those who is eager to be with me. I will never ever beg for attention because i learn it the hard way, never chase love, affection or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having. And once i given up on the person or i am done, i am really done and have absolutely no interest to spend time nor even feel like talking to them anymore.

To me, grey area is a tough call, because i have always been either a white or black decision person. and yes, this is to simplified my life instead of arguing white or black. i hope to resolve this struggling moment soon..