The memory that won’t go away…

I am having a bad day today. Memories of Pom kept flooding back and I have nothing but guilt when I think of him. I picked up PW from her condo and we were talking about pet and one thing led to another, I started sobbing as I drove to the mall.

I wasn’t there for Pom when he died. I wasn’t at the vet while he was hospitalised. I wasn’t there when he was dying. I was thinking of how scared would Pom be as he was dying and me, the so-called loving owner was nowhere to be seen. My eyes was actually in pain as I cried but I seriously don’t care much about myself at this moment.

I am a failure in relationships judging from the fact my ex thought I was never good enough for them. And now I am failing my duty even as a fur mommy. Tears kept forming in my eyes while PW was trying to console me. My eyes were already reddish a few days back and it worsen as I was already crying while I was waking up.

I am sorry Pom, for neglecting you.. I always remember the day when i visited you at the vet, those sad eyes of yours, as you look at me.. it haunt me till today…

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My 2017 first hike -Bukit Gasing Forest Park

 

Sunday 28 May 2017. My very first hike after many many many years of ‘hibernation’. I was glad to have A to go hike with me because it is my very first hike and I kinda doubt if I am able to hike at all.

So it is assuring to have someone who is an avid hiker to be the guide. Mainly because I suck at reading map and I have no sense of direction when it comes to compass reading and I tend to mess up east, west, north, south or whichever direction (that explains why I dislike Google map narration of head east (hello.. just say turn right, please make life easier, google map >.<)

Back to the hike now. I always make fun of my uk friends for speaking about the weather and now i notice how important the weather is for hikers (serves me right for mocking them about weather lol ).  Had it rain the previous night, the trail would be wet and muddy … for a dummy like me, it means slippery trail. And mind you, I am wearing my so-call fancy Nike sport shoes which was meant for gym training or running purpose. Absolutely not meant for slippery road, hence I was really watching my step very very carefully and I make a mental note to get a good pair of hiking shoes for my next hike.

The hike seemed manageable for a newbie like me. Except there was some part whereby the trail was pretty steep and I thought I nearly had a muscles pulled on my right calf. ( As usual I was being a *heroic* smartass, i didn’t do much muscles warmup although A did advise me to do so). There was an occassion or two which I felt dizzy while hiking, probably either I had too little food for breakfast or I ate a bit too late, but A was kind enough to wait up for me and accommodate my slow pace since I was resting a bit too much.

Beside working out my flabby muscles during the hike, I enjoy the flora and fauna and the forest animal (not many unfortunately) . We saw some monkeys, monitor lizard and birds ( too bad I suck in

birdwatching, sorry am unable to recognise any of the birds which I seen) but I can hear the birds chirping away though.

The trail we took lasted about 2 hours I think because I didn’t really check what time we started.

The hike was good, of course thanks to A guidance otherwise I doubt am gonna finish the trail should I be hiking alone. It’s a moderate hike for a beginner like me and will be back to hike again as to build up the stamina and to familiarize myself with hiking again. I was planning to hike Gunung Tahan and eventually Mount Kinabalu.

Little Beggars on Jalan Ampang

I was on my way to visit client at Jalan Ampang the other day and I stoped at the traffic light as it turns red.

As I was waiting in my car, I heard a tap on my car window and I saw this young kid ( about 6 years old). He was looking at me and gesturing to me with his index finger (that’s one I guess) and he ask me to give him $1 as donation. I shake my head and told him in malay that I won’t give him any money. He seemed upset and he smack my car with his palm before walking away.

I saw a lot of drivers did give the boy and his another partner (in crime,.about 7-8 years old) $1 as they approached every single cars that stop by the junction or traffic lights.

It was a very disturbing and sad scene to me as I shake my head in disbelief. Both of them are of school age and should be in school or enjoying outdoor activities. Why the heck are they begging on the street instead?

A lot of questions pop into my mind as I felt really sad and surprised. Has Malaysia gone so bad? Where are their parents or their guardians?  Why aren’t these boys in school?  The boys do not know the shame of begging or taught to have no self dignity as long as they have the money? For how long have they been begging? Why does the drivers pay them $1 and to me it’s encouraging the boys to beg further!

I am still loss of words and I felt helpless and no idea what to do or how to respond 😓IMG-20170602-WA0001